god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I party with great urgency now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
