It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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