HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
vagina is talking i cant
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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