i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
