she was so not down for the gang bang
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
