all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
