Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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