omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.