Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line