hotties wanna shake it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dignity is for republicans.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?