Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
your room smells of hookers.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
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Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.