Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you would pick up someone in the library
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
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she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
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thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.