And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Porn is love you can see.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize