if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
