new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize