My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We left the knife in your bed.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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