wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize