i don't like sucking hair
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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