i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
