There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i don't like sucking hair
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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