Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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