yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize