capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize