I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
