Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So much Jack, so little girl.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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