We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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