Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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