I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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