At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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