God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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