Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
