I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
