I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
my liver is dry heaving
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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