I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
