I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't turn off my feet"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
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