I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
