Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
