i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize