But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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