We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
