is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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