I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she pinky promised me she was 18
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
