everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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