State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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