it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have feelings that need drinking.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
