I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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