did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
