Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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