im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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