When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
