I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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