I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
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My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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