I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize