would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
