i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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