It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize