I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They took my balls.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
