I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
