and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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