I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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