im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
